Monthly Incites
Stay Connected!
Hi,
If you’ve been following me on social media, you’ve probably noticed I’m passionate about connection and community. We’ve never needed both more than we do right now.
But physical distancing, masks and now the cold weather continue to get in the way. Maybe your favourite way of connecting with your community isn’t even open to you right now.
Don’t give up. Connecting is important.
Recent studies at Stanford Medicine showed that people who feel connected to others have lower levels of anxiety and depression and higher self-esteem. They also have greater empathy for others and are more trusting.
In fact, connection has positive impacts on our social, emotional and physical well-being.
So, what can connection even look like today, when it’s more challenging to connect than it ever has been?
Start by connecting with yourself. How are you doing? You’re not alone if you’re feeling anxious, unsure or even angry. We went through a lot in 2020. It’s also OK to not know exactly how you’re feeling about all the loss and uncertainty.
Connecting with yourself could look like taking a few minutes each day to just sit and watch the snow fall or the Christmas lights twinkle. Or spending time reflecting on what you’re grateful for. Or maybe it’s about moving, being physically active, getting outside. Whether it’s one or all of these things, or something completely different, I hope you’ll take the time to do it.
If you’re feeling connected to yourself you’re more likely to want to connect with others.
Depending on the restrictions where you live, connecting might look like a text, a phone call, a zoom call, or a physically distanced walk.
Here’s a few additional ways to keep the social connection going despite the obstacles:
- mail cards or letters to let people know you’re thinking about them
- sign up for live online workshops and learn something new
- participate in a virtual exercise or dance classes and invite a friend to do the same
- start or join a virtual book club
If this is overwhelming and you’d like some help figuring it out, let’s do it together.
Until next time, stay well and stay connected!
-Elizabeth
Move from Stuck to Unstoppable in 2020!
Are you feeling stuck? Unclear of what your next step should be? Are you overwhelmed by life and lacking clarity about what you want in 2020? Developing and implementing a plan takes reflection, courage and commitment, but it’s doable and worth it! Set yourself goals for 2020! Start either on your own or with friends, by reflecting on 2019.
Questions to Reflect On
- What was good about the year?
- What was challenging?
- What didn’t happen?
- What was your biggest time waster?
- What are you grateful for?
Then begin to think about what you want in 2020.
Questions to Move You Forward
- What do I want more of?
- What do I want less of?
- What am I passionate about?
- What am I willing to take a stand for?
- What makes me feel alive?
- What impact do I want to have in the world?
Create Your Goals From a Place of Awareness
What will flow from your answers are the hopes, dreams and ideas that energize you, make you feel alive, and connect to your purpose or calling. This will take you to the next step – designing a path forward and setting goals.
Goals are critical because they give us the details that move us towards our dreams. They identify the steps, provide clarity and substance, and establish timelines.
The goal setting process needs to include a reality check. Change doesn’t happen overnight.
Put Your Goals Into Action
Write your goals down in as much detail as you can! A recent article in Forbes magazine says, “Vividly describing your goals in written form is strongly associated with goal success.” And be sure to put them somewhere where you will be continually reminded.
Your heart and mind are critical when discovering goals, and they are equally as important when you put them into action. Use the intentionality and resolve of your mind to stay on track. Use the passion of your heart to cheer you on, celebrate your wins and stay motivated.
Your future flows directly from the decisions you make today. Make a decision today to reflect on 2019 and develop a plan for 2020. Then decide every day to put your plan into action!
At Incite, I offer coaching sessions as well as workshops. If you wish to book a coaching session or a workshop for your next event, retreat or group gathering, please contact me.
Til next time,
Elizabeth
Creating Balance – 5 Ways to Help You Say No!
Do you find yourself saying yes to doing things and then wondering how you’re going to add one more thing to your already full life?
Is your life full of busyness but little enjoyment?
Are your relationships negatively impacted because you aren’t making time to spend with those that mean the most to you?
If you answered yes to any of the above, then for you, creating balance probably begins with learning to say no.
“Saying no has always been important,” says William Ury in his book, The Power of a Positive No, “but perhaps never as essential a skill as it is today.”
Saying no means setting limits with yourself and others, at home, at work and in your community. And in this time of high stress and limitless choices, saying no leaves room for a better yes. Creating time in your life for the things that matter.
But even knowing all of this, saying no is still hard for most of us. We want to avoid confrontation and want to be involved. We might not be sure if it’s ok to say no. Or maybe we lack the courage to say no! Sometimes I do.
It is possible to say no and be kind at the same time! Having boundaries doesn’t make you rude or uncaring.
And too many yeses can lead to burnout and I don’t want any of us to go down that road.
5 Ways to Help You Say No:
1. Ask yourself, “Does this align with my purpose and values?” When we allow our purpose and values to inform our decisions, we experience a deeper sense of being fulfilled.
2. Ask yourself, “What will I have to say no to in order to say yes to this?” The truth is we can’t keep adding things to our To Do lists. We have limited time and energy even if we’re living our lives as if this is not true.
3. Ask yourself, “Am I the best person?” Sometimes our desire to help can actually get in the way of someone better suited to the task stepping forward.
4. Remind yourself you don’t have to answer right away. Give yourself permission to say, “Let me think about it”, “I’ll get back to you”, or, “This is too important to make a decision about right now”.
5. Create some quiet time to consider “Is my busyness, my need to say yes, coming from a deeper need that is not being met in my life? “.
Action Incites
1. If you’re not sure what your yes is, sign up for our Monthly Incites Newsletter for a free copy of 5 Steps to Ignite Your Life!
2. If you’re not comfortable saying no practice in front of the mirror or with a trusted friend. Think about how you will phrase your no, so you are ready when it is needed. Maybe it’s something like, “Great idea, it’s just that I’m already committed”. Remember it’s possible to say no and be kind!
3. Brainstorm other ways to protect your time and energy so you can deliver your best yeses.
At Incite, we offer coaching sessions as well as workshops. If you wish to book a coaching session or book a workshop for your next event, retreat or group gathering, please contact us.
Till next time,
Elizabeth