Posts

Lean Into Rest

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Are overwhelmed, tired, or stuck words that describe you?

If your answer is yes, then here’s my gift to you this month:  REST.

Ironically for me, and I’m guessing it’s true for most of us, I had an inner resistance to rest. It didn’t come easily.

I’d told myself so many times, “I’ll rest tomorrow or on the weekend, or when I’m on holidays. I don’t have time to rest now.” I believed rest was optional – but it’s not.

As a recovering doer, I’m learning to accept that pushing through and trying to get it all done almost never works. Doing “busy” isn’t the answer if you’re not first connected to your why, your vision and who you want to be.

I’ve begun to embrace a deeper relationship with rest that I hope will encourage you.

Intentional living includes making room for intentional rest because rest is at the core of our mental, physical, and emotional health.

Rest allows us to be more of who we truly are.

In part, I was resistant to rest because I saw only what it stopped me from doing and not what it gave me in return. It was a limitation, an obstacle. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. After spending time exploring what this thing ‘rest’ is, I now know there are many more ways to experience rest than stopping, napping, or sleeping.

There’s a variety and depth to rest for our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls.

As I continue to lean into rest, what it offers keeps expanding.

Rest for me now includes physical movement like swimming, walking, and stretching. All of which leave my body feeling relaxed and rested. It includes getting outside in nature which fills me with a physical and mental calm. Visiting art galleries, aquariums or concerts, takes me away from my day-to-day struggles, doubts, and anxieties, and inspires my mind and heart, allowing me to breath more deeply and rest.

Rest can be found in making time for meaningful conversations with friends. Or it can be found in play!

Journaling, prayer, and meditation also bring a deep rest to my soul – an inner peace. When you slow down enough so your mind can rest you allow new insights and understanding to enter.

I’ve also discovered there’s a connection between rest and my capacity for joy and wonder. Rest gives hopes and dreams room to be known, explored and experienced.

“Most of the things we need to be most fully alive never come in busyness.

 They grow in rest.”   Mark Buchanan

Incite Actions:

  • Observe without judgement what you are telling yourself about rest and what you do to resist rest.
  • Explore new ways of resting. What could that look like for you? Feel free to try some or all the things I’ve been exploring. Block time in your calendar to help make this happen.
  • Notice. Ask yourself, “What is my favourite way to rest? What does it give me? What is different after I rest?”.
  • Check this out – spend time doing things you loved to do as a child!

If you’d like some help figuring it out let’s do it together. At Incite Coaching, I offer one on one coaching and workshops. To book a free Inquiry Call please contact me.

 

Until next time,

Elizabeth

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

goals

Move from Stuck to Unstoppable in 2020!

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Are you feeling stuck? Unclear of what your next step should be? Are you overwhelmed by life and lacking clarity about what you want in 2020? Developing and implementing a plan takes reflection, courage and commitment, but it’s doable and worth it!  Set yourself goals for 2020! Start either on your own or with friends, by reflecting on 2019.

Questions to Reflect On

  • What was good about the year?
  • What was challenging?
  • What didn’t happen?
  • What was your biggest time waster?
  • What are you grateful for?

Then begin to think about what you want in 2020.

Questions to Move You Forward

  • What do I want more of?
  • What do I want less of?
  • What am I passionate about?
  • What am I willing to take a stand for?
  • What makes me feel alive?
  • What impact do I want to have in the world?

Create Your Goals From a Place of Awareness

What will flow from your answers are the hopes, dreams and ideas that energize you, make you feel alive, and connect to your purpose or calling. This will take you to the next step – designing a path forward and setting goals.

Goals are critical because they give us the details that move us towards our dreams. They identify the steps, provide clarity and substance, and establish timelines.

The goal setting process needs to include a reality check. Change doesn’t happen overnight.

Put Your Goals Into Action

Write your goals down in as much detail as you can! A recent article in Forbes magazine says, “Vividly describing your goals in written form is strongly associated with goal success.” And be sure to put them somewhere where you will be continually reminded.

Your heart and mind are critical when discovering goals, and they are equally as important when you put them into action. Use the intentionality and resolve of your mind to stay on track. Use the passion of your heart to cheer you on, celebrate your wins and stay motivated.

Your future flows directly from the decisions you make today. Make a decision today to reflect on 2019 and develop a plan for 2020.  Then decide every day to put your plan into action!

At Incite, I offer coaching sessions as well as workshops. If you wish to book a coaching session or a workshop for your next event, retreat or group gathering, please contact me.

Til next time,

Elizabeth

say no more often

Creating Balance – 5 Ways to Help You Say No!

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Do you find yourself saying yes to doing things and then wondering how you’re going to add one more thing to your already full life?

Is your life full of busyness but little enjoyment?

Are your relationships negatively impacted because you aren’t making time to spend with those that mean the most to you?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then for you, creating balance probably begins with learning to say no.

“Saying no has always been important,” says William Ury in his book, The Power of a Positive No, “but perhaps never as essential a skill as it is today.”

Saying no means setting limits with yourself and others, at home, at work and in your community. And in this time of high stress and limitless choices, saying no leaves room for a better yes. Creating time in your life for the things that matter.

But even knowing all of this, saying no is still hard for most of us. We want to avoid confrontation and want to be involved. We might not be sure if it’s ok to say no. Or maybe we lack the courage to say no! Sometimes I do.

It is possible to say no and be kind at the same time! Having boundaries doesn’t make you rude or uncaring.

And too many yeses can lead to burnout and I don’t want any of us to go down that road.

5 Ways to Help You Say No:

1. Ask yourself, “Does this align with my purpose and values?” When we allow our purpose and values to inform our decisions, we experience a deeper sense of being fulfilled.

2. Ask yourself, “What will I have to say no to in order to say yes to this?” The truth is we can’t keep adding things to our To Do lists. We have limited time and energy even if we’re living our lives as if this is not true.

3. Ask yourself, “Am I the best person?” Sometimes our desire to help can actually get in the way of someone better suited to the task stepping forward.

4. Remind yourself you don’t have to answer right away. Give yourself permission to say, “Let me think about it”, “I’ll get back to you”, or, “This is too important to make a decision about right now”.

5. Create some quiet time to consider “Is my busyness, my need to say yes, coming from a deeper need that is not being met in my life? “.

Action Incites

1. If you’re not sure what your yes is, sign up for our Monthly Incites Newsletter for a free copy of 5 Steps to Ignite Your Life!

2. If you’re not comfortable saying no practice in front of the mirror or with a trusted friend. Think about how you will phrase your no, so you are ready when it is needed. Maybe it’s something like, “Great idea, it’s just that I’m already committed”. Remember it’s possible to say no and be kind!

3. Brainstorm other ways to protect your time and energy so you can deliver your best yeses.

At Incite, we offer coaching sessions as well as workshops. If you wish to book a coaching session or book a workshop for your next event, retreat or group gathering, please contact us.

Till next time,

Elizabeth

What’s so Great about Gratitude?!

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Gratitude is appreciating what you have. Expressing your thankfulness. Returning kindness. Studies are now showing that expressing thanks might be one of the simplest ways to feel better about your life. As David Steindl-Rast said, “It is not joy that makes us grateful. It is gratitude that makes us joyful”.

In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships (Harvard Mental Health Letter June/2019).

Gratitude helps people connect to something larger than themselves, whether it is to other people, nature or a higher being. It can also motivate you to make positive change in your life by opening your eyes to new opportunities.

So, if you haven’t tried it already, start now. Practice gratitude! And remember, it’s the cumulative effect of many individual acts that make a difference.

Incite Actions for Gratitude:

Here are some things to try.

  • Keep a daily journal and write all the things for which you’re grateful.
  • Write a letter to someone thanking them for something.
  • Share often with your partner, a friend, or a colleague what you are grateful for in your relationship.
  • Take a moment during your day to sit and focus on what you are thankful for (the warm sun, a pleasant sound, etc.).

At Incite, we offer coaching sessions as well as workshops. If you wish to book a coaching session or book a workshop for your next event, retreat or group gathering, please contact us.

Till next time,

Elizabeth