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Embracing the Heart of Self-Care

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Pretty much everyone’s living in a state of overwhelm these days. Maybe you feel stuck, you’re navigating change, or there are just too many demands on you. In response, there are lots of services and products being offered that are connected to self-care, however, most focus on the symptoms and not the underlying cause. Although they might add momentary pleasure to your life, such as face masks and scented candles,  true self-care goes much deeper than that.

I want to take you on a journey to discover the heart of self-care.

It’s not an ‘add on’ to your life but a core foundation for daily living. And it begins with you. This inward focus helps you recognize what will best serve your mental, physical and spiritual health, both now and in the future.

Connecting with the heart of self-care is transformational.

You can begin right now by taking a few minutes to slow things down. Try watching the clouds go by, counting your inhalations and exhalations, or rubbing the palms of your hands together. The important part for any of these actions is to focus ALL of your attention on that one thing. In this way, you’re pushing the pause button on your busy life, even if only for a few minutes, and research shows that this calms your mind and body.

I’ve noticed in my life coaching practice, that when women take the time to pause and listen from this calm place, they often hear their inner voice. What’s your heart saying to you?

Maybe it’s nudging you to take a look at the boundaries you have or the new one’s you need. Or you might want to place more value on your “yes’s” and use them only for those things that are truly important. Are there things you need to stop doing? Is there a courageous conversation you need to have? Do you want to shift your focus?

Give yourself permission to embrace the heart of self-care.

What would truly make a difference for you? Don’t be influenced by others’ choices or your social media scroll.

And don’t let the “should” monsters take control. Your actions don’t have to be big grand gestures. Start small and build. Choosing every day to take the next small step is what will make the difference over time.

Whatever you choose, make sure to put structures and routines in place to support you.  Check-in regularly with yourself – what’re you noticing? What adjustments might you need to make? What new actions are you now ready to take?

There are plenty of proven approaches to assist you along the way, including journaling, walking in nature, practicing gratitude, praying, exercising, and sharing with someone you know and trust.

A thoughtfully crafted self-care journey is foundational to creating the life you want to live. It will support your goals and dreams, protect you from exhaustion and resentment, and keep you focused on what’s important.

If you’d like to talk with me about developing a self-care journey that is transformational please reach out.

I’m here for you,

Elizabeth

goals

Move from Stuck to Unstoppable in 2020!

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Are you feeling stuck? Unclear of what your next step should be? Are you overwhelmed by life and lacking clarity about what you want in 2020? Developing and implementing a plan takes reflection, courage and commitment, but it’s doable and worth it!  Set yourself goals for 2020! Start either on your own or with friends, by reflecting on 2019.

Questions to Reflect On

  • What was good about the year?
  • What was challenging?
  • What didn’t happen?
  • What was your biggest time waster?
  • What are you grateful for?

Then begin to think about what you want in 2020.

Questions to Move You Forward

  • What do I want more of?
  • What do I want less of?
  • What am I passionate about?
  • What am I willing to take a stand for?
  • What makes me feel alive?
  • What impact do I want to have in the world?

Create Your Goals From a Place of Awareness

What will flow from your answers are the hopes, dreams and ideas that energize you, make you feel alive, and connect to your purpose or calling. This will take you to the next step – designing a path forward and setting goals.

Goals are critical because they give us the details that move us towards our dreams. They identify the steps, provide clarity and substance, and establish timelines.

The goal setting process needs to include a reality check. Change doesn’t happen overnight.

Put Your Goals Into Action

Write your goals down in as much detail as you can! A recent article in Forbes magazine says, “Vividly describing your goals in written form is strongly associated with goal success.” And be sure to put them somewhere where you will be continually reminded.

Your heart and mind are critical when discovering goals, and they are equally as important when you put them into action. Use the intentionality and resolve of your mind to stay on track. Use the passion of your heart to cheer you on, celebrate your wins and stay motivated.

Your future flows directly from the decisions you make today. Make a decision today to reflect on 2019 and develop a plan for 2020.  Then decide every day to put your plan into action!

At Incite, I offer coaching sessions as well as workshops. If you wish to book a coaching session or a workshop for your next event, retreat or group gathering, please contact me.

Til next time,

Elizabeth

say no more often

Creating Balance – 5 Ways to Help You Say No!

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Do you find yourself saying yes to doing things and then wondering how you’re going to add one more thing to your already full life?

Is your life full of busyness but little enjoyment?

Are your relationships negatively impacted because you aren’t making time to spend with those that mean the most to you?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then for you, creating balance probably begins with learning to say no.

“Saying no has always been important,” says William Ury in his book, The Power of a Positive No, “but perhaps never as essential a skill as it is today.”

Saying no means setting limits with yourself and others, at home, at work and in your community. And in this time of high stress and limitless choices, saying no leaves room for a better yes. Creating time in your life for the things that matter.

But even knowing all of this, saying no is still hard for most of us. We want to avoid confrontation and want to be involved. We might not be sure if it’s ok to say no. Or maybe we lack the courage to say no! Sometimes I do.

It is possible to say no and be kind at the same time! Having boundaries doesn’t make you rude or uncaring.

And too many yeses can lead to burnout and I don’t want any of us to go down that road.

5 Ways to Help You Say No:

1. Ask yourself, “Does this align with my purpose and values?” When we allow our purpose and values to inform our decisions, we experience a deeper sense of being fulfilled.

2. Ask yourself, “What will I have to say no to in order to say yes to this?” The truth is we can’t keep adding things to our To Do lists. We have limited time and energy even if we’re living our lives as if this is not true.

3. Ask yourself, “Am I the best person?” Sometimes our desire to help can actually get in the way of someone better suited to the task stepping forward.

4. Remind yourself you don’t have to answer right away. Give yourself permission to say, “Let me think about it”, “I’ll get back to you”, or, “This is too important to make a decision about right now”.

5. Create some quiet time to consider “Is my busyness, my need to say yes, coming from a deeper need that is not being met in my life? “.

Action Incites

1. If you’re not sure what your yes is, sign up for our Monthly Incites Newsletter for a free copy of 5 Steps to Ignite Your Life!

2. If you’re not comfortable saying no practice in front of the mirror or with a trusted friend. Think about how you will phrase your no, so you are ready when it is needed. Maybe it’s something like, “Great idea, it’s just that I’m already committed”. Remember it’s possible to say no and be kind!

3. Brainstorm other ways to protect your time and energy so you can deliver your best yeses.

At Incite, we offer coaching sessions as well as workshops. If you wish to book a coaching session or book a workshop for your next event, retreat or group gathering, please contact us.

Till next time,

Elizabeth

What’s so Great about Gratitude?!

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Gratitude is appreciating what you have. Expressing your thankfulness. Returning kindness. Studies are now showing that expressing thanks might be one of the simplest ways to feel better about your life. As David Steindl-Rast said, “It is not joy that makes us grateful. It is gratitude that makes us joyful”.

In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships (Harvard Mental Health Letter June/2019).

Gratitude helps people connect to something larger than themselves, whether it is to other people, nature or a higher being. It can also motivate you to make positive change in your life by opening your eyes to new opportunities.

So, if you haven’t tried it already, start now. Practice gratitude! And remember, it’s the cumulative effect of many individual acts that make a difference.

Incite Actions for Gratitude:

Here are some things to try.

  • Keep a daily journal and write all the things for which you’re grateful.
  • Write a letter to someone thanking them for something.
  • Share often with your partner, a friend, or a colleague what you are grateful for in your relationship.
  • Take a moment during your day to sit and focus on what you are thankful for (the warm sun, a pleasant sound, etc.).

At Incite, we offer coaching sessions as well as workshops. If you wish to book a coaching session or book a workshop for your next event, retreat or group gathering, please contact us.

Till next time,

Elizabeth