Do you find yourself saying yes to doing things and then wondering how you’re going to add one more thing to your already full life?

Is your life full of busyness but little enjoyment?

Are your relationships negatively impacted because you aren’t making time to spend with those that mean the most to you?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then for you, creating balance probably begins with learning to say no.

“Saying no has always been important,” says William Ury in his book, The Power of a Positive No, “but perhaps never as essential a skill as it is today.”

Saying no means setting limits with yourself and others, at home, at work and in your community. And in this time of high stress and limitless choices, saying no leaves room for a better yes. Creating time in your life for the things that matter.

But even knowing all of this, saying no is still hard for most of us. We want to avoid confrontation and want to be involved. We might not be sure if it’s ok to say no. Or maybe we lack the courage to say no! Sometimes I do.

It is possible to say no and be kind at the same time! Having boundaries doesn’t make you rude or uncaring.

And too many yeses can lead to burnout and I don’t want any of us to go down that road.

5 Ways to Help You Say No:

1. Ask yourself, “Does this align with my purpose and values?” When we allow our purpose and values to inform our decisions, we experience a deeper sense of being fulfilled.

2. Ask yourself, “What will I have to say no to in order to say yes to this?” The truth is we can’t keep adding things to our To Do lists. We have limited time and energy even if we’re living our lives as if this is not true.

3. Ask yourself, “Am I the best person?” Sometimes our desire to help can actually get in the way of someone better suited to the task stepping forward.

4. Remind yourself you don’t have to answer right away. Give yourself permission to say, “Let me think about it”, “I’ll get back to you”, or, “This is too important to make a decision about right now”.

5. Create some quiet time to consider “Is my busyness, my need to say yes, coming from a deeper need that is not being met in my life? “.

Action Incites

1. If you’re not sure what your yes is, sign up for our Monthly Incites Newsletter for a free copy of 5 Steps to Ignite Your Life!

2. If you’re not comfortable saying no practice in front of the mirror or with a trusted friend. Think about how you will phrase your no, so you are ready when it is needed. Maybe it’s something like, “Great idea, it’s just that I’m already committed”. Remember it’s possible to say no and be kind!

3. Brainstorm other ways to protect your time and energy so you can deliver your best yeses.

At Incite, we offer coaching sessions as well as workshops. If you wish to book a coaching session or book a workshop for your next event, retreat or group gathering, please contact us.

Till next time,

Elizabeth